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It was never mine to begin with!
In today’s podcast we will discuss another of the hidden impacts of childhood sexual abuse, shame and guilt.
We only discovered that shame and guilt are two separate emotions whilst listening to a Tedtalk by Brené Brown (a research professor at the University of Houston) Listening to the Shame. In the talk Brené explained that shame is all about the self, whereas guilt is about your behaviour.
We were plagued with shame for our whole lives believing the negative things our father drilled into us. What we do know now is that shame is so destructive and can keep you locked into a cycle of self-judgement and push you towards addictive behaviours to numb the feelings of self-hatred.
For us, shame and guilt were permanent companions in our lives. They merged together creating a lethal combination that constantly rushed to the surface anytime we even thought of moving forward. The control our father had over us and his ability to embed negative beliefs about our responsibility in the abuse, left lasting scars that has taken years to unravel.
We each talk about just how the belief that we were inherently bad stopped us engaging in life and encouraged us to see feelings of vulnerability as weak. We also talk about the difficulty of taking responsibility for our behaviours and what we learned from being able to separate out our behaviours from who we are.
We hope that by sharing our experience of living with shame and guilt that were never ours to begin with, will help other victims to take back their innocence and see the truth of the abuse they suffered.
Please share and spread the word……
Joyce, June and Paula