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BLOGS

We have been blogging for some time now and have been asked by a number of people if we could make our blogs accessible in an audio format.

We each spend a lot of time listening to YouTube videos and so understand the convenience and easy that having access to blogs in an audio format would bring.

We always try to ensure our message reaches as far and wide as possible and with that in mind, we are currently working on taping all our blogs. We also hope that over the coming weeks we can provide all our current written materials in an audio format and moving forward we will try to provide all future materials in both written and audio. 

We appreciate that some may find it easier to listen than find the space to read the blogs.  We hope that giving people choice will increase the likelihood of more people hearing our message of hope as we strive to demonstrate that childhood sexual abuse does not have to define your future.

Ireland has a history of failing to protect our children, yet we continue to stand by and watch those in positions of power, demonstrate that they have learnt nothing from the past.  These same officials are seen delivering apologies to victims’ way after the damage is done, followed closely with empty promises that they must not let the same thing happen again.  They have no difficulty finding millions to support war-torn Ukrainians, all the while ignoring the war being waged on innocent children in their own homes.

CARI (Children At Risk in Ireland) are calling for immediate emergency Government funding and will begin a campaign to raise €100,000 in 100 days starting on the 18th of July 2022.  This may sound like a lot of money to raise but sadly, this is the amount required to allow them to clear their current waiting list of 5 YEARS.

Over the weekend there has been a lot written and talked about the wearing of the yellow star by protesters both in Germany, London and here at home.  In Germany some protesters replaced the word “Jude” (Jew) with the phrase “ungeimpft” (unvaccinated). The outrage Jewish people feel centres around the belief that protesters are equating their struggle with the restrictions enforced by governments across the world in relation to covid, and the horrors that the Jewish people experienced during the Holocaust.

If you look up the word choice for a definition you will get so many alternatives to its meaning and many different contexts in which the meaning of the word choice changes.

So when it comes to explaining why many victims that do not live with their abuser appear to choose to continually return to the scene of the crime only to be abused again and again is not a simple explanation and neither is the implied choice of the victim.

Do you believe that Jeffery Epstein would have attracted and been able to sexually abuse girls who believed their self-worth was equal to his?

Do you believe Harvey Weinstein would have been able to sexually force himself on beautiful actresses f they didn’t believe in his power and fear that his power could make or break their career?

Do you believe that hundreds, possibly thousands of 13 and 14-year-old girls were happy to continually return for sex with unattractive overweight middle-aged Pakistani men in the Rochdale sex abuse scandal?

In the past few weeks, I realised that the coping mechanisms I used as a child to survive my abuse were being triggered in response to the corona virus and the lockdown restrictions. Growing up I really struggled with anxiety that often manifested in anger. I hated not having any control over my life, and today, I find myself right back were it all began. The more the government continues to increase the restrictions that curtail my movements, interactions, and relationships, the more my resentment grows.

I noticed the comments that followed yesterday’s post, regarding sexual abusers. It was interesting to see how many comments this raised as most of our followers choose to remain silent regardless of the effort June puts into those posts. 

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Living in Fear! Now Do You See Me?

We have spent years trying to help people understand the fear experienced by children who suffer child abuse or childhood trauma and how that fear impacts their lives.

The Silver Lining in the Corona Virus

I watch my neighbours rally around ensuring no one is left alone or stranded and even social media, that can often be negative, is filled with positive stories of people pulling together to support one another. 

Accountability!   

Weinstein practically blamed his legal team for his silence throughout the case whilst continuing to ignore their repeated attempts to hush him as he spoke for about twenty minutes in court.  

You Are Your Own Mother 

Mother’s Day is a national celebration enjoyed by many, but for others the day acts as a reminder of the lack of nurturing they received as a child. This often raises unjust feelings of shame and unworthiness in victims.

Multiple Abusers – It Must Have Been My Fault!

I’ve thought of writing about this for a long time and to be honest, I’m not sure why I haven’t. The abuse at the hands of my father in many ways, made my other abusers fade into the background.

by Paula Kavanagh

The Price of Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse 

How could I be so blind to all that was happening around me?  How can I say with any degree of honesty or certainty that I really didn’t know what was happening to others in my home? 

by Joyce Kavanagh 

 

LETS CALL A SPADE A SPADE 
Male Privilege and just how
dangerous it is to us all
by Paula Kavanagh 

LETS TELL OUR STORIES OF ABUSE 
The dangers of keeping your childhood sexual abuse to yourself
by Joyce Kavanagh

VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE IN POSITIONS OF POWER 
The influence childhood sexual abuse has on our decision making abilities
by Paula Kavanagh

DOES CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE CHANGE WHO YOU ARE FOREVER?  
Can you ever be healed from the impacts of CSA or does it become part or your DNA?
by Paula Kavanagh

WHY PEOPLE CONTINUE TO SUPPORT DONALD TRUMP   
The questions we really should be asking are who is voting for him and why?
by June Kavanagh

CHILD ABUSE AND ANXIETY/PANIC ATTACKS  
children that experience trauma are more likely to have increased anxiety and depressive behaviours
by Paula Kavanagh

THE IMPORTANCE OF SEX EDUCATION IN SCHOOLS  
The belief is held that teaching children about their bodies and sex will destroy their innocence.
by June Kavanagh

WHY VICTIMS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE DON’T SPEAK OUT!  
10 reasons why victims of childhood sexual abuse don’t speak out.
by Paula Kavanagh

A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE IS NEEDED!    
Our intention is and always has been to help improve the lives of victims of sexual abuse.  To achieve this, we need to help people understand this crime.
by The Kavanagh Sisters

PERFECTIONISM – A WAY OF DEALING WITH CHILDHOOD TRAUMA   
Dr.Brené Brown says perfectionism is one of the three main ways people protect themselves from getting hurt.
by Paula Kavanagh

THE AFTERMATH OF THE BELFAST RAPE CASE   
This case caused a palpable shift in thinking about casual sex and how consent is given and understood.
by June Kavanagh

HOW CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE IMPACTED ME – A PERSONAL ACCOUNT   
You cannot answer that question easily.  In my mind the answer is enormous I had to become/create an entire new me
by June Kavanagh

ARE WE READY TO FACE THE TRUTH  
The church did the ground work and prepared all of us, albeit unintentionally, to be sexually abused.
by June Kavanagh

RAISING AWARENESS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE TRIGGERS  
Feelings of fear or panic that often appear to come out of the blue and without any warning or connection to anything that is happening at the time.
by Paula Kavanagh

HOW DO WE FIX OUR BROKEN PEOPLE   
There are at least 900 thousand Irish citizens currently living with the impacts of abuse.
by Paula Kavanagh

CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AND PTSD  
Most of us will have heard of PTSD and we associate it with soldiers following a tour in a war-torn country. We don’t tend to connect it with adults that have suffered child abuse.
by Paula Kavanagh
 

GETTING IT RIGHT – TO REPORT OF NOT TO REPORT   
Leaving individuals with the question of ‘who and should I report my suspicions to’? is not going to help anyone.
by Paula Kavanagh

DEAR 16 YEAR OLD ME  
I know you are going through a rough time now, and my wish is that this information may help you.
by Joyce Kavanagh

GERMAINE, GERMAINE, GERMAINE!  
Like most women and men who have experienced rape, we read Germain Greer’s call for punishment for rape to be reduced with anger and disbelief.
by The Kavanagh Sisters

RELATIONSHIPS AFTER ABUSE – A PERSONAL JOURNEY  
Many people ask if it is possible to have a relationship after you have been abused and the answer is yes. It does however, depend on you.
by Joyce Kavanagh

NEW REVOLUTIONARY TREATMENT FOR CHILDHOOD TRAUMA 
I couldn’t believe that this new revolutionary treatment is ‘New’ and not standard practice across all child treatment programmes.
by Paula Kavanagh

MOTHERS DAY – A SURVIVORS GUIDE   
For those of us whose childhood were filled with abuse, this time of the year can bring up the hurt and pain for a mother’s love you never got to experience.
by Joyce Kavanagh

SEXUAL ABUSE HAS NO GENDER PREFERENCE  
The first time I heard that boys were being sexually abused, I was genuinely shocked.  I never expected it and It added another dimension to this crime I hadn’t expected.
by June Kavanagh

FATHERS DAY – A SURVIVORS GUIDE   
Those of us who have suffered abuse at the hands of our father, will not welcome this celebration. This time of the year can be highly triggering and unsettling.
by Joyce Kavanagh

IS 2018 REALLY THE YEAR OF THE WOMAN  
Oprah Winfrey’s powerful acceptance speech for the Cecil B. Demille award at the Golden Globes, 2018 was inspirational as she announced that the ‘Time was up’ for abusers with particular reference to powerful and brutal abusive men.
by The Kavanagh Sisters

A SURVIVORS GUIDE TO CHRISTMAS   
Christmas time can be overwhelmingly social.  We can live for it or dread it. For some, Christmas is not a time of celebration, but a time we hate. Society tells us that to be alone is sad and there is a societal belief that no one should be alone at Christmas.
by Joyce Kavanagh

CONSISTENT SENTENCING FOR SEXUAL PERPETRATORS  
When you read the horrifying statistics around the reporting of these crimes and how few cases make it to court we must ask what we can do differently.
by The Kavanagh Sisters

PAEDOPHILES – MONSTERS OR HUMAN  
The media’s portrayal of paedophiles as monsters generates and supports fear. This portrayal can prevent us from seeing them as actual human beings. We have labelled them, categorised them and no longer think of them as human.
by June Kavanagh

HOW DO JUDGES GET IT SO WRONG?  
As survivors of childhood sexual abuse, we are hurt, disappointed, shocked and insulted at some of the sentences judges hand down every day for crimes of sexual abuse.
by June Kavanagh

SEX OFFENDERS – NOT IN MY BACK YARD  
So, what are we to do with those individuals that are convicted of sexual offences. Do we put them on an island and leave them to fend for themselves? Do we take them out and shoot them? Do we castrate them?
by Paula Kavanagh

TO CATCH A PAEDOPHILE   

What does it say about our justice system when ordinary parents can pin these predators down with a bit of effort and very little resources and, yet the Gardai are unable to do the same.

by Joyce Kavanagh 

YOUNG OFFENDERS – WHAT ARE WE TO DO?

Juveniles committed 45% of sex offenses in 2016. It was also reported that sexual offenses are one of the few crime categories where offending rates by young people are on the rise with an increase of 39% from those figures reported in 2015.

by Joyce Kavanagh 

NO JUSTICE, NO WINNERS! 
This case will probably do far more good in the long run, not only for the girl herself, but for the worldwide movement for equality for women.  She will probably never know how many people support her, believe her, and have been moved to tears, and to action because of her.
by June Kavanagh

DECISION TO PROSECUTE – WHAT I WISH I KNEW BACK THEN  

The decision to prosecute or not is a very complex and personal choice. It certainly was not a decision we took lightly, and I was not aware at the same time of just how difficult the legal process would be. 

by Paula Kavanagh

MOTHER – A POEM 

I usually don’t feel anything
even though Its Mother’s Day
my childhood really messed me up
so it’s always been this way

by June Kavanagh 

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