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Talking and writing about our childhood abuse and how it impacted us, were key to us gaining a greater understanding of thoughts and behaviours that we had as adults, and that we hated. We didn’t know that these thoughts and behaviours were actually disorders that were researched and understood by many health professionals. These disorders or conditions developed as a direct result of the abuse we had each endured as children and some still impact us today.
Mental and physical health issues like depression, anxiety, poor self-esteem, headaches, backpain, and panic attacks are just a few. We would find it difficult to identify any area of our lives that wasn’t altered or damaged as a result of our abuse. However, it is extremely unlikely that we would have ever fully accepted that we were not responsible for causing these problems, if we had we not gone back and picked our lives apart.
With that in mind we continue researching and working on ourselves. This blog is about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and we hope that it helps make sense for those of you who suffer from this particular disorder and those that support them.
What is PTSD?
PTSD is defined as a mental condition that makes it difficult to regulate emotions. It is said that individuals who have suffered childhood sexual abuse and repetitive or prolonged exposure to trauma can develop any number of conditions and disorders. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is just one of them.
Most of us will have heard of PTSD and we associate it with soldiers following a tour in a war-torn country. We don’t tend to connect it with adults that have suffered child abuse, and this is probably because as an adult, the symptoms of PTSD can mimic other disorders like, depression, anxiety, hypervigilance, problems with alcohol and drugs, sleep issues, and eating disorders, all making it difficult to diagnose the condition. PTSD often develops in children that experience any form of prolonged trauma. The list below outlines some of the conditions that drive the development of this condition.
PTSD can develop in children if the following conditions exist:
- If the child feels threatened.
- The relationship of the child to the perpetrator, the closer the relationship the more likely the child will experience PTSD in later life.
- If the child feels alone or abandoned by their caregiver.
- If the child feels guilty or responsible for the abuse.
- The child’s physical and emotional short-term response to abuse (i.e. if the child’s heart rate escalates, this will increase the likelihood of developing PTSD as an adult.
PTSD is grouped by the following types of symptoms:
- Re-experiencing, or reliving, the traumatic event.
- Actively avoiding people, places, or situations that remind you of the traumatic event.
- Negative Thoughts and Beliefs.
These symptoms show up in the following ways.
- Trouble sleeping / bad dreams / flashbacks.
- Fear of dying, anxiety, or depression.
- Loss of interest in activities.
- Regular physical complaints such as headaches or stomach-aches.
- Extreme emotional reactions.
- Irritability, anger, violence.
- Difficulty concentrating.
- Increased vigilance or alertness to their environment.
- Avoiding people or places.
For us, PTSD is not just another collection of trivial words and symptoms put together for dramatic affect. They are real symptoms that as survivors of child sexual abuse, we have dismissed for far too long believing we were just hypochondriacs’ or plain mad. It is also understandable why PTSD can be difficult to diagnose as the symptoms can be associated with many other conditions. It is for this very reason that understanding how abuse impacts the human psyche is vital if you are to recover.
It would be very difficult for those of you who have not been abused to try to image the levels of fear a child feels being raped by an adult. It is all the more difficult when you understand that in most cases it is an adult the child trusts and loves. You might get a glimpse of the fear by trying this, Close your eyes, imagine your in bed and a loud sound wakes you up, you can hear sounds downstairs. You know no one else should be in your home, but you hear the sounds of presses opening and closing. You contemplate if you should go and investigate, and then you hear footsteps at the end of the stairs.
That can only give you a tiny sense of what it is like growing up in a home with an abusing parent.
It is impossible to live with that level of awareness or fear on an ongoing basis, so children learn to dissociate or compartmentalise their experiences in order to cope with daily life. These suppressed emotions are what cause various mental conditions and disorders to develop later in life. I doubt that any victim of trauma can escape the occurrence of mental health issues and with PTSD like other mental health conditions there appears to be no cure other than a combination between medication and therapy. I believe that if you work through your abuse and fully understand the origins of your thoughts and behaviours you will be in a much better place to control the symptoms and live a much healthier life.
We strongly recommend researching and writing as an approach when you begin your own healing journey. We also believe that if we had a book with the information that is contained within our book ‘Why Go Back? 7 Steps to Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse’ we could have been spared years of unnecessary pain and suffering. We know that anyone suffering from the impacts of sexual abuse will benefit from the learning we have gained. We also want to spread a clear message of hope to other victims, that there is life after abuse.
If everyone understood abuse and its impacts, people would better comprehend why it can take so long for victims to come forward and speak out. It may also help people appreciate why it takes so long to recover from this horrendous crime. With understanding would come the desire to provide the necessary resources and demand the changes in policy and practices of the judicial system. The more everyone understands how sexual abuse impacts its victims the more compassionate we will all be towards each other.
Paula-8th April 2018